The Incident at xxxeDDes
Filed Under First Contact |
I met the infamous Ensign Peterson at a bar in star dock one day. I thought that he would be tired of talking about the “incident” but he was quite happy to give me a personal audience. I guess it was because it gave him a sort of celebrity status and maybe also because I was buying the drinks. I already knew the story as it was required reading at the academy as it was one of the examples of what not to do when you meet a new alien race. But of course I wanted to hear all the little details from Peterson myself.
Peterson’s ship was transporting the ambassador from planet xxxeDDes to a conference with several representatives from the surrounding star system. This was actually a first contact situation but very few aboard knew the details of the mission much less that an ambassador from a new world would be traveling on board. Also unknown was the type of life form the ambassador was or even what he looked like.
Peterson was just finishing his shift and heading for his quarters when he turned the corner and slipped and fell into a large puddle of water. Being the conscientious type he quickly accessed a clean panel and used a vac to manually clean up the mess. A couple of hours later he started to break out in what looked like hives and headed for sickbay.
In the mean time the command staff were going nuts looking for the ambassador. They had gone to his quarters and he wasn’t there and sensors couldn’t locate him anywhere on the ship. The captain finally had to contact xxxeDDes and report his disappearance. That started an uproar and it looked like it would turn into a real disaster.
Meanwhile Peterson was still in sickbay and the doctor was at a loss as to explain what caused the rash. In fact the rash began to get even worse and pustules began to form but the odd thing was as each pustule formed it increased Peterson’s endorphin levels to point he was almost in shear extasy. In the mean time the captain was trying everything he could think of to keep the xxxeDDes from starting a war. It was right around then the doctor discovered what the rash was.
It seems that the xxxeDDes ambassador had wandered from his quarters and met up with Peterson in the hallway. The xxxeDDes, for lack of a better description are mostly just bags of water. Peterson ran into the ambassador in the hallway and ruptured his membrane. What he slipped and fell into was the ambassador’s reproductive gel that was released when the membrane was ruptured. It seems that the xxxeDDes reproduce by puncturing each other’s membrane and then mixing together creating offspring. In the process they also reproduce themselves so all the doctor had to do was allow Peterson’s rash to continue till the ambassador and several hundred of his offspring hatched.
Peterson said they had pictures of him in “full boom” as the hundreds of the offspring were forming and then falling off his flesh as they matured. He said the worst part wasn’t the pustules, it was all the screeching as each one developed vocalization and in turn berated him for, as he put it “mating outside his species”
Unfortunately all the photos were deemed too graphic and were confiscated for the “betterment of interspecies relationships”. Peterson told me he heard of some xxxeDDes who were frequenting Pleasure Planets to re-enact the incident and that the proprietors keen to profit from this desire had named the interspecies get together the “Peterson Puddle of Pleasure”.
Peterson’s eyes seemed wistful as he finished the last sentence of his story and I noticed that his finger was lightly tapping a small puddle of water on the table. I bought him a few more drinks and I thanked him for taking the time to tell me his tale and he in turn thanked me for the drinks. As we parted ways I noticed that his face seemed different and more relaxed than when we first met. It was his smile, it was pleasant but seemed somehow twisted, but I guess that’s how a man with an “interspecies relationship” under his belt smiles.
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