Pon Pons
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The Pon Pons as you probably already know are considered to be one of the most beautiful humanoid species in the known universe. It is said that when the crew of the starship Orion I made first contact with the Pon Pons the captain and crew who first set eyes on them were speechless. It took the prodding of a nonplussed Vulcan to snap them out of their worship like trance . The Pon Pons who were just as excited to meet a new species suggested that they meet right away. The captain of the Orion I readily agreed and offered his ship for the event. The Orion I being a starship was set up for just such an event with an elegant “first contact” transporter bay with all the accrutrements necessary to put on a good face. Everyone on board the Orion I had seen the video of the Pon Pons and they tried to beg, steal, borrow, coerce or otherwise get themselves added to the list of “dignitaries” who would greet the Pon Pons. The occasion was carefully planned and arraigned to the last detail. The tables were set with all the best food and drink a starship could conjure up. The anticipation was palatable when the moment finally arrived.
In hind sight there is something to be said for regulations, especially those concerning first contact situations. In fact there is a separate and large manual for dealing with first contact and just about everything is spelled out in detail. But the one detail that seemed to be forgotten in the case of the Pon Pons was human nature. The stunning beauty of the Pon Pons seemed to have the entire crew under a spell, except of course for the Vulcans. As the moment of their arrival neared the transporter bay was filled to capacity as everyone waited with anticipation and a certain smugness in that they all would be the first to lay eyes on this new and beautiful race.
As the transporter materialized the Pon Pon ambassador and his entourage there was an audible reaction from all those present. It was as if each person had caught their breath and held it. The captain and the first officer stepped forward with their hands out to greet them. Everyone present was smiling and as a group they all inched forward a little trying to get closer to the incredible beauty that was now only feet away.
When the first wave hit you had to admit that starfleet trained their officers well because only a few of those in the front row reacted. But when the Pon Pons moved closer to the captain and first officer to greet them there was no stopping the onslaught.
It was something so simple that even the protocol sensors didn’t pick it up and with all the excitement I doubt anyone would have taken a notice of the scan if it had. But it was this one thing that created one of the most memorable first contacts in all of starfleet history.
The odor, it was the smell, the beautiful Pon Pons stank. It wasn’t BO or some residue from their planets atmosphere, they were rank awful stinking rotten, eye watering horrors. The captain and first officer were the first to fall. The sounds they made at they reacted to the stench was guttural and almost primeval. Those in the back thought the Pon Pons were attacking the command staff and started to raise the alarm but it was only seconds before the rank stench reached them and everyone else in the room.
Then the nausea started as if on cue and everyone began to vomit. But not the kind of vomiting you normally think of, but the kind where your stomach seems to be trying to exit your body. Everyone, no matter how hard they tried to resist were now on their hands and knees retching without control. The Pon Pons through all this stood silently watching and it was what they did next that helped create a whole new chapter in the starfleet first contact manual.
The Pon Pons ambassador gestured to his entourage and with an almost practiced flair pulled aside the front of his robe. Each in his party did the same and you could see what appeared to be an opening in their chests. The ambassador again gestured and together they all kneeled close to the captain and first officer still retching on the floor. Then with raised hands they started to imitate the sounds they heard coming from the humans. The opening in their chests, like some sort of mouth opened up and spilled forth large black and green globs that when they hit the floor seemed to continue to move and undulate on it’s own. If the odor coming from the PonPons was vile then what emanated from the globs on the floor was horror personified.
No one can say how long this scene lasted and it was only through the efforts of an ensign passing by the transporter bay who had heard there was some sort of emergency and activated the emergency protocol and transported the Pon Pons back to their planet. Unfortunately he also opened the door and allowed the stench to travel through several corridors creating an all new set of victims.
Even after the air cleaners started scrubbing the atmosphere the smell was still lingering. One participant I talked to summed it up by saying “I’ll never have a head cold again, that stink cleared out not only my sinuses but every opening in my body”.
But the final chapter was not written until the clean up crew (in class one containment suits) started to clean up the “vomit” the Pon Pons had left behind. They started to vacuum the mess but had trouble because it was very viscous so they started to do it the old fashion way and scoop it up into containment bags. That’s when they noticed that the black and green globs were moving and trying to avoid them!
It turned out that the black and green globs were the Pon Pons! The stinking writhing mass on the floor was the sentient and dominant part of their symbiotic relationship. The pretty things everyone had fallen in love with were some sort of vessel the Pon Pons had grown from one of the lower life forms on their planet. Quick thinking on the part of the clean up crew averted an incident and the Pon Pons ambassador and his staff did not get tossed out like so much garbage.
But the Pon Pons actually took it pretty well and once you got past the stink they are actually very pleasant. The only thing is, it took forever to convince them that what the captain and his staff had vomited on the floor was not in charge and they had to talk to the “ugly tall things” as they referred to humans.
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